Have you ever been in a situation where you’re about to talk with someone who is slightly different than you and that difference tries to take over every corner of your single-track brain?  For example, you’re about to meet a guy with only one arm, all you can think about is that missing arm.. “don’t ask about the arm… don’t bring it up, don’t say anything about his missing appendage”.  Then he says to you “Hi, I’m Mark” and you say “So, you’re missing an arm there, huh?”.  Good times had by all.

Now that you know how my mind works, here’s the rest of the story.  We had a cute couple come in the other night to the ER, I believe the correct term for them is “little-people”.  They were very nice and ended up being just fine after we helped them out a bit.  My job was to walk in the room and take a quick temperature under the gals tongue, but all I could think of was all the things I shouldn’t say.  “Aaron, don’t say anything about them being shorter than you, midgets, gnomes, the 7 Dwarfs, or any references to anything ‘small'”.  Immediatly upon entering the room I announced my intentions with, “Hello, I just need to get a little temperature from you”…dang it, my cursed mind couldn’t stop thinking about our differences in altitudes…I had to find someway to stop talking…maybe I could just leave the room, or fake a seizure, or even just wet my own pants and graciously excuse myself…no, I was going to tough this one out!…I began taking her temperature under her tongue, which was taking forever, so I said “if you press your tongue down on that sensor just a wee-bit, it will take a little quicker”.   Oh curses, that did not go well…so I faked a seizure.

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